Reactions

I once received a gift. It came out of no-where, un-expected and it was very much the surprise that was intended. This gift was hidden in a hotel room, a room that had been booked with love and happiness. I found the box underneath the pillow, wrapped in a ribbon. My smile widened then smoothed out and I read the label. The pen is the tongue of the mind. The gift was of course a pen. The best part... the label.

I was so surprised, so grateful, not because of the gift, but the thought behind it. My reaction however… was never fully shown.

You could be the most composed, together and strong person... until something breaks your fall. Some people look for reactions, some people give surprise reactions and some people can't always show their reactions, even if they wanted too.

You can be caught off guard, hear the right thing and laugh a genuine giggle. You can be touched at a moment you feel most vulnerable, feeling weak and cry genuine tears.

Some reactions, no matter how much you fight them...happen.

Sometimes we over react, get childish or rude without really meaning too and other times we get the reaction we hadn't hoped or expected. Some things can make you bitter, make you so angry that they eat you up inside. Some things can cause an un-expected numbness, preventing reactions from happening for a long time after. Sometimes you can be surprised from your own reactions and realise things you hadn't known before or blocked out... sometimes you react slower than you had expected, hiding from them.

A reaction is and can only be, personal to you. You can't help a reaction, but you can try to understand them, never fully being able too.

Sometimes the biggest reaction is fear. Fear of the un-known, fear of the thing you never expected and fear you will get it all wrong. What if you never saw something coming and hadn't prepared for it... what if you weren't ready to react?

I guess the saying, 'there's never a bad reaction,' is in parts true, because at the very least it is honest.

It may take a while, it might come out wrong at first and it might even happen when you don't want or realise it. The truth is, we all react and everyone does it differently. Sometimes it might just take a while to get there and understand it even ourselves.

We can always guess a reaction, but never completely know.

This was originally written with a tongue that I didn't expect, wasn't sure if I was ready for and surprised me… very good ink.