A Final Fairwell

Goodbye's are never the easiest thing. Hello's are so much better... Unfortunately goodbye's happen and we need to deal with them the best way we can.

To say that a funeral is hard would be a lie. A funeral is something different for every person. For some it is losing a friend, for others it is losing family and for the gay priest giving the service, it's his 9-5 job.

The time came yesterday at 11am to say fairwell to my much loved Nan. After shedding enough tears before hand, I felt I was prepared to keep a dry face throughout the service... Its funny how things hit you.

The ever falling snow didn't stop a moving service, a service filled with love and respect for a loving and kind person.

Funeral's force you to face a goodbye you never intended on saying and make you think about life. Life is something that a lot of the time we live with our eyes closed. We stumble along and hit bumps in the road that make us re-open them once more.

Open your eyes.

To live life to the full is to remember what you have learnt and keep learning and growing. A memory can make us smile forever, so keep forming new memories to form new smiles.

Forever in my heart.

I am so proud of the people I love.

and Miss Jeni Rodger... all my own words.

x

Gym Dreams

You know the holiday season has come to an end when the gym starts getting crowded, you double take at the people that you swear were thinner the last time you saw them and you have to queue for machines.

Obviously I continued to go to the gym the whole time I was off...

It's weird but true, when you go to the gym you sort of have a time slot. You don't mean too, but you seem to end up going every day at the same sort of time. This ultimately leads you to see the same faces and this leads you to meeting Gym Man...

Gym Man is one of those guys that is there all the time, always wears shorts and always makes you forget how to do whatever it was you were doing.

The Gym Man that I see is built like a tank.

No matter what I am doing, be it sit up or running on the treadmill, he stares. It becomes such an un-comfortable stare that I have to turn away.

At first I thought he had seen how I was doing the sit-ups and thought I was doing them wrong, but then it was as I stood waiting for water, as I picked up weights or as I chatted to familier faces. He stared.

The stare followed me around the gym as Gym Man worked out.

The other week I stared back.

He was on the mats where I was having a break in-between sit up sets and I watched as he did his one handed press ups. As he finished his set he looked up to me looking. In my head I was screaming, "DANIEL turn away. Stop looking. DANIEL HE IS NOW LOOKING AT YOU! This is un-comfortable. TURN AWAY."

My mouth opened as if to speak and he looked down and started on his next set of one handed push ups. I got up feeling completely stupid and started to walk away. I saw him stop and look up and watch me go.

What was his problem?

Every time it was the same odd stare, intense and un-comfortable.

I don't know about anyone else, but I usually go to the gym not doing my hair and looking a bit rough and ready... This is usually what I do.

Yesterday I was ready to get back into the gym, full swing. I had my new jogging bottoms on that were slightly too big and walked into the gym (usual time) with a smile.

So what if I had done my hair today, so what if I might have worn a top that was ironed and so what if I had freshened my breath before I came. I was there to work out nothing else and work out is what I would do.

There he was.

I started the run on the treadmill, he hadn't noticed me.

I continued to run. Whilst side tracked in looking at Gym Man, I slowly started to realise that my 'slightly too big joggers' were now below my boxers. I pulled them up and held them, looking straight towards Gym Man, feeling relieved he wasn't looking back this time.

I finished my run without revealing anymore of my body and casually walked past Gym Man as he stood pumping up his arms.

Nothing.

He didn't even blink. I turned around and went to go back to the treadmill, pretending to have forgotten something. I slowly went to walk past him again and it was as if I wasn't there. I was tempted to pretend to knock past him, but felt stupid and went to the mats.

I started my sit ups laughing to myself that I had done my hair. I realised I was actually laughing out loud, not too loudly, but loud enough! I turned to my left to see Gym Man was next to me.

He stared. I shot my head the other way cursing at myself for laughing out loud and looking like a complete idiot.

I turned back and he was gone.

I left the gym confused. Was Gym Man into me? Was Gym Man just a guy that stares? Did Gym Man only like me when I was rough and ready?

Just who is Gym Man?

Ghost stories

Everyone has their own opinion on whether or not ghosts exist. Arguements, discussions and debates happen constantly about whether its all in our head or at the end of the bed?

I have not long moved, but my old house was an old three story big house. My mum always tells me she can sense whether a house is haunted or not and always stated that this house was not.

Comforting... that is until a few months back before we moved.

My brother manages a bar, its a taxi ride from our house and he doesn't drive. He always comes home late and nearly always forgets his keys.

My parents were away again (they're always off on long weekends or trips to far away places.)

It was a week night and after the gym, dinner and a long night in front of the television I was ready to head up to bed. A jumpy person anyway, I double check doors, windows and a couple/all of the rooms.

I finally get into bed and drift off to sleep.

I wake up to the door bell ringing. I looked to my phone and it was around 3am. I cannot believe my brother had forgotten his keys again.

I went to get out of bed and my mobile starts ringing, it's my brother. I go to answer but he hangs up.

As I sit on my bed about to ring him back, I hear the front door open and close, realising he must have found his keys.

With the comfort and knowledge he was home, I fell to sleep quickly not hearing him come up.

I woke in the morning to another phone call. My brother again.

I answered.

"Hi, Sorry if I woke you last night, saw the time and so I hung up."

I replied, "Thats ok, I thought you had forgotten your keys."

He responded, "Nah, I was just ringing to let you know I wasn't coming home last night. Still at my friends now."

A chill went down my spine and I sat there frozen.

I got up and went downstairs. The front door was still closed.

To say that I was freaked out would be a slight exaggeration. To say I slept with the lights off for the rest of the time my parents were away, would be a complete lie.

Every night after, I would wait until my brother got in and made sure he was home before going to sleep. Slightly embrassing when I nearly hugged the random girl he brought home, ring him when he was sleeping and be glad if he was bringing his friends home... All in the name of fear!