Who we are

Many people say decisions we make shape our lives and path our future. Some say our parents give us the foundations and we build the life on top of them.

The truth is, we are who we decide to be, only sometimes we build on the foundations with the wrong bricks!

Often when my mum got angry at me, she would state I was not the son she had raised. Apart from being paranoid that I was swapped at play group I realised that I was the son my mum raised, but as I got older I was also the person I raised.

When so many problem children and young adults are the subject of news stories many people turn quickly to the parents, wondering if they were to blame for the bad decisions their children made! But at what age do we stop blaming someone else and start thinking about our own actions?

Through life you'll be sure to meet many types of people from many different backgrounds. Some will be rich, some poor, some white, some black and some many different colours on the outside and in, even pink! They may have been brought up in these categories or may have developed them through things that happened or decisions made... But they are just like you, trying to build their lives.

I have a friend; I use the word friend in a loose way, not because I hate them but because I don't always agree with how they are. His family appears to come from money and he is stuck in this mind set going about his life with money and what he has as seemingly part of his personality. He talks down to people worst off, treats waiters like his personnel staff and offends without even being aware of it. He does all this and doesn't realise he doesn't need too.

He apparently has a side that's great, which I haven't really seen, he believes this is how he should be and thinks it impresses... He is who he is because it's what he believes he should be. It's almost as if his bricks are complete but missing at the same time. He is who he is, but could be so much more.

I have always been brought up to respect others, to care about feelings and to try and lead an honest and good life. My parents are great and did bring me and my sister up well. But I am not perfect, no one is! I have picked many bad bricks and I'm pretty sure I will again, I guess that in a way, it is part of who I am.

The great thing about building lives is they can withhold a re-build.

Some people you'll dislike because you feel they might not deserve what they have and some you'll feel sorry for not having as much. Then they’ll be some that won't care about any of that...

Who are we? Different! The world would be a pretty boring place if we weren't.
That's the thing we don't always remember, it doesn't really matter where you come from, it only matters where you're going. If you are lucky enough to come from solid foundations, which doesn't only mean wealth, it means love, happiness and support, then respect those and still grow...

At the end of the day, life isn't about who you dislike or who gets ahead when you fall behind. Life is about who you are, inside and out.

Be the best you can be.

Bricks might wear, but we have the tools to rebuild.

The question is, who do you want to be?

Expectations

It is easy for people to say, 'Never judge a book by its cover!' But it is even harder for people to do.

I have heard that the greatest expectation to get over is the ones we set ourselves. If this is true, then we really are our own worst critic.

Parents, family and friends all have different expectations for each other... whether they admit to them or not. Some care, expecting good results and some expect others to fail, to lose out and to never reach their dreams.

Some peoples expectations are developed from anger and jealously... some people hate and don't just expect us to fail, but want us too.

The thing is... everyone expects something different and because of this, a lot of people will be let down and let you down.

It is in the way we dress, how we speak and the company we select. It is where we live, our family name and the job we have. It is the ring we wear, the bruises we show and the choices we make... it is expectations from who we are and the things we do.

Most people have dreams, goals they'd like to reach. My mum plays the lottery every week and expects to win any day now. She still checks her emails to see if she has won, even though her expectations know she probably hasn't... but wouldn't it be nice.

We all have expectations; some are viewed as pressure to do well. Striving to do what everyone has told us we will achieve and worrying we won't. Worrying we'll disappoint and worrying we'll fall.

An expectation is something others think they will see, our own expectations are things we hope others will see and when we expect from others, that’s what we hope to see.

The great thing about expectations is, it doesn't matter if we don't always succeed in them. My dad always tells me... I will be happy, as long as you tried your best.

We always expect... so just try your best, no one who cares will ask anymore of you.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, they’ll always be expectations.

Seeing Red

In the short time I've been driving, one piece of advice I always hear is... Never let the petrol run down to red. In the short time I've been driving, I almost always hold my breath hoping that I'd make it to a petrol station, because I am the person that always runs it down to red.

Today was no exception, I pulled up to the station just in time... thanking out loud to no one and secretly patting the dash board as if it were a dog.

As I filled up allowing my motor to re-hydrate I looked around. I looked to my left and saw a man yawning as he pumped petrol into his car, to my right a lady was squeezing the handle so tightly she must have been in a rush hoping the fuel would flow faster!

Petrol pumps are a lot like using a urinal... when you’re done you shake it and return it back to its home.

I paid for the drink and drove off on my journey to work... knowing that the tank was a little bit fuller and my wallet was a lot lighter!

The more I drove the more I looked around.

I would look at the car next to me as I waited for the lights, I would pretend not to stare at the man shouting at his wife/mistress/lover and I would get shy as I got caught staring at a man who had a huge beard but no hair.

The more I looked around the more I realised... No one smiled.

Ladies, men, workers, joggers and truck drivers. Not one of them smiling. I then looked into the rear view mirror and to my surprise, nor was I.

If you look around, a glance, a quick scan, just how many people are smiling? Why is it that we go about our day only smiling when we see people or find something funny?

What happened to the smile?

I had roughly 10 minutes left of my journey, bad enough as I was already 4 minutes late. I decided to smile.

As I smiled I turned up the music, I looked to my left and right, I found it started to make me laugh... I then nearly hit a curb and swerved. I resumed my smile and started to realise people didn't really smile back; one man looked at me as if I was crazy and another nearly swerved himself!

I quickly found a smile un-nerves and shakes us. It is not what we are use to seeing.

If I drove to work and saw a man grinning I'd probably laugh, I’d probably smile myself. The fact is, sometimes we are too tired, too self-conscious or just don't realise that we have something to smile about.

No one smiles all the time and if you do then great. The reality is people need something, someone or a memory to provoke a smile.

We all have things that bring us down, we all have days where a smile is the last thing we want to do... but sometimes a smile is what we need even when you're running on empty and in danger of breaking down. They say a smile goes a long way, a smile is free and a smile causes less wrinkles... A smile is like saying you're ok.

Remember that.

Everyone deserves a smile... So who are you smiling about?

Pedalling

I can’t really remember how old I was when I learnt how to ride my push bike without stabilisers. I remember my dad running beside me, pushing me, fearing that he'd let go. Then with a final push I remember he did and I pedalled... and then fell off.

Balance.

The key to riding a bike without stabilisers, its all in the balance. At the time we probably didn't want to fall off, we didn't want to fail, but looking back you realise... sometimes you need to fall.

A week ago I drove to work as I do every morning, a lady flashed me with her lights and I presumed she meant for me to turn mine on. I continued to drive as it was daylight. I got to work and went about my day, until it came to lunch. I went to go to my car and realised it was a little lop-sided.

My back tyre was flat.

I have never changed a tyre, not surprising I guess. Luckily a guy from my work knew how to. As I stood and watched my car being jacked up, I realised, it's funny how something so small like the nail that punctured my tyre, could prevent me from going about my day.

As annoying as it was, I'm kind of glad it happened. I went and got my punctured tyre repaired for the total price of £9.98 and felt road worthy once again.

Someone once told me, "Why do we fall? To get back up again!" This line would have been really nice, if I didn't later realise that he had got it from a Batman film. So thank you Batman, because those wise words you probably muttered as you saved a man's life, actually ring true.

There are many things that happen, bumps in the road, failing your driving test, not getting the job you desired or passing out from too much alcohol. The list is endless and that is because sometimes there are things that we need to learn before we can pedal on our own.

There are many things I fail at, but that's ok. With every fail I gain more knowledge, knowledge to try again.

Sometimes you just need a little push.

The New Coat Hanger

A trend setter is someone who does not follow, does not stick to rules and always strives to take their image further than the last time they changed it. A trend setter is also someone who is a risk taker, someone that dares and sometimes makes a hit, but quite often misses at the same time.

Not everything is always how you expect it to be. This statement could not be truer about my attendance at London Fashion Week.

Fashion is said to be the art form we wear, but just how many people wear it?

Bright lights, flashing cameras, people wearing outside the box clothes and the highest heels even in the pouring rain. Fashion Week arrives... and the weather will not rain on this parade.

To be in the audience viewing a show that is watched by millions, millions of people who want to be in the very seat I sat in, was an experience that I will always remember. An experience where I get to see fashion happening in front of my eyes and realise the true birth place of new and current trends coming alive.

As the lights dimmed and the catwalk lit up, I strangely got excited and with a heavy beat kicking in and the first model striking a pose, I quickly realised that this is why people come to fashion week... Drama.

Seeing a model up close is like seeing an animal in the zoo... they photograph beautifully in pictures but in real life they are not looking as hot as they are made out to be.

As the models walked through many outfit changes, it quickly dawned on me the missing link to the zoo. In model world I don't think feeding hour happens that much...if at all.

Some were skinny, but in an ok way, but many were painfully thin and looking in bad condition with blood spots on legs, bones sticking out and drawn faces.

The modern day coat hanger was definitely the wire version.

With each outfit followed by a more vibrant one, the whole experience made you crave to see more. Designs were hits and misses at the same time and everyone in attendance became a judge. Judging if they'd wear it, like it or toss it on the sale rack.

As the lights came up and the show was over I looked around and saw smiling faces, whispering girls and strutting ladies. Fashion week had happened before my eyes and it was everything I didn't expect.

It was a place where people were who they wanted to be. People would wear the outfits I judged wrongly and people hated the outfits I liked.

I realise even more now than ever... Fashion is a hit and a miss. It is loved and it is hated, it is something where everyone has an opinion and it is a form of expression. Much like life, fashion is something unique to everyone. No designer can cater to everyone's needs, but a trend can be done in many ways, tailoring to each individual.

At the end of the day, we are all just individuals.