Life's Pleasures

Hoovering up, polishing and trying to get it done quick and painlessly. Then, getting spun around, your favourite top being ripped open. You left standing there exposed, half naked, angry and still with half the room to tidy. Not a scene from an X rated movie, but from a friend whose boyfriend tried spicing up the cleaning he found boring. Everyone has needs, his being sex and hers being the need to clean the carpet where he wanted loving but all she could think about was ‘shake n vac’!

Some people see sex as a fundamental need in a relationship, craving it, wanting it and in many ways using it as a bargaining chip.

It's what happens after sex that is the real test. You can have meaningless one night stands and feel nothing. Wink at a stranger at a party and end up on a bathroom floor, knowing the next time you see them, all you'll think about is how much the hot tap burnt against your bum, not about how much you liked it in the bathtub and how romantic it was with the toilet seat up.
It's when you role over and look at the person, if they’re special you realise, sex is needed, but it is a small part of love. A small part of being an us, a duo and definitely not the biggest thing you end up missing when you're a solo.

Circumstance can play perhaps the biggest part in what we need. It could come out of the blue, from a break up, family, a new relationship, a loss or an excitement. Every circumstance produces different needs, large and small. Sometimes it can alter the type of need needed and indeed make us realise, what we want and need can actually be very different.

Sometimes belief can become our biggest need, it happens without us wanting it and comes to us best when we never expect it. Belief is needed so badly, that if we do not get enough, we seek it through other channels, church, strangers and books.

It is the kind of belief that you get from someone, the belief that comes at a time when you need that extra push of faith and the belief that supports you no matter what, that truly fulfills needs.

Everyone needs something, whether it might be down to drinking too much water before bed and getting up 8 times in the night trying not to wake the person snoring next to you. It’s talking about issues, however small they may be. It’s that something you know is crazy but you need someone to believe in, especially during times of risk, change of direction and just needing support.

That’s the thing about needs, you’re not alone. Whatever it is, someone else needs something too. Life is about catering to these and not forgetting your own at the same time... Sometimes what we need and want end up not mattering, sometimes you realise that what you actually needed wasn't that important in the first place.

My friend with the ripped top needed to feel better, so she ripped his! Later realising it was his one of a kind Liverpool football shirt! Then she had a need to put down her duster and make more mess than expected in the half tidy room… Sometimes realising other peoples needs can be just as important.

Needs can change, but are always there. Sometimes it's sex, sometimes it family, sometimes it's belief and sometimes it can just be a cuddle.

Someone once asked me what is true happiness? I replied, it’s the small valuable things, its family, friends and it is when you smile without even realising it. Happiness is something that can just creep up on us. Could happiness actually be all we really need?

Needs can seem bigger in our heads, especially when our greatest need could just be life’s simple pleasures.